Some days it feels like I’m struggling through a thick, sticky, muddy soup in a roiling fog, with no way out. I’ve been so ridiculously tired that, when bedtime comes around, I’m out like Frazier vs Mike Tyson – it only takes 30 seconds. Why am I feeling like this? Is it just old age (editor: hey! I’m hardly ‘old’), or am I in a slump?
The answer is neither.
Since starting a podcast (or, more accurately, trying to get the podcast from organized to up and going), I’ve spent the majority of my waking hours writing, thinking and emailing about the podcast. When I wake up in the morning, I’m checking my inbox for audition requests, mock-ups from my artist friend or notes from my editor friend. Once I settle down to eat breakfast (actually, it’s probably lunch), I’m reading up on how to use some computer program more effectively. And when I’m done with most of my household chores, guess what? I plop right on down in front of the computer to play around with said program or reply to more emails or, if I’m lucky, write scripts.
Reading that paragraph back to myself, it sounds like I’m complaining. But I’m not! It’s been a long, long while that I’ve had something other than family to occupy my time; my brain and body just haven’t gotten back into the rhythm of working yet. It’ll get there, yet I wish it wouldn’t take as long as it has.
I’m not really sure what I’m getting at here. Am I writing this just to vent? Nope, I have friends I do that to. Am I bored out of my mind? Again, I have so much stuff taking up what time I have that isn’t already commanded by other things (like sleep) that I don’t have a chance to get bored. Am I getting tired of answering my own questions? Fucksake, yes. Yes, I am.
I guess what I’m saying is that, even though I am bone-dead tired and ready to crawl into bed as I type this, I am excited and driven to make this whole podcast thing work. And, amazingly, I was able to talk a couple of my friends into joining the crazy ride as well. Not only will we get thrice the amount of work done, but I won’t be able to shrug off the endeavor once I run into the smallest of snafus.
Seriously though, I am tired.